What’s Your Anger Style?
Anger comes in three basic styles. We may switch styles depending on who or what is triggering our anger,but most of us lean to one style or another. Which of the following is your anger style?
LOCK IT UP!
BEHAVIOUR
Withdraw emotionally
Deny anger,but show it in other actions
Give the “silent treatment”
Become ill or anxious
REASONS
I don’t have the right to be angry. I may lose my job,or a relationship
Anger is inappropriate or childish,I fear I will hurt or offend someone
I may lose control of myself.
I can’t cope with strong feelings.
People will dislike me if I show anger.
TURN IT LOOSE!
BEHAVIOUR
Blowing up at people
Getting physical or hurting people
Threatening,shouting or swearing
Blaming people
Breaking things
Flying off the handle at small things
Bringing up old grievances
REASONS
I need to assert my power over people
I’m afraid of getting close to someone.
I can’t stand to be wrong.
I don’t know how to communicate calmly when angry.
The best defense is a good offense
MANAGE IT!
BEHAVIOUR
Remaining Calm
Focusing on the behaviour, not the person
Using “I” statements such as: “I feel angry when…..”
Sticking to the subject
Allowing discussion to happen
REASONS
Anger is a normal emotion-it’s OK to be angry.
When I’m angry. I want to solve the problem that’s causing my anger.
I want to be able to express anger appropriate
STRUCTURED RELAPSE PREVENTION
Coping Skills Assignment
ANGER MANAGEMENT
Everyone experiences anger; it is a normal human emotion. However, the ways in which we
Express anger can have negative consequences both for ourselves and for others. For example, anger might make it difficult to think clearly, perhaps leading to actions we later regret.
Anger can also lead to verbal and physical aggression, and many people identify anger as a drug or alcohol use trigger.
When is anger a problem?
If your anger is frequent, if it is intense, if it lasts a long time, if it leads to aggression or if it disturbs your work or relationships, these are warning signs that your anger is creating problems for you.
There are different “styles” of expressing anger:
Some people tend to be passive when they are angry. This person would likely avoid a confrontation, and perhaps allow others to take advantage of him or her. Passive anger means
“Bottling it up” inside.
Other people express their anger aggressively. Such a person may try to dominate others with anger, and lays the blame for his or her behaviour on others.
The ideal way of expressing anger is by being assertive. This person expresses his or her feelings in an open and honest manner, and in a way that shows respect for others. An assertive person tries to solve the problem by attempting to change the behaviours that are creating anger.
Suggestions for Dealing with Anger
Be aware of your body (e.g. tight muscles, clenched fists; etc.)
Take a few deep breaths of relaxation, Stay calm.
Remember that anger is a signal that something needs to change.
Look for positives; don’t jump to conclusions.
Tell yourself: “i’m not going to get pushed around, but I’m not going to go haywire
either.”
Leave the situation if necessary (take a “time out” )
Can you laugh about it?