ABOUT ASSERTION
PASSIVE BEHAVIOUR ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR
PERSON PERSON PERSON
Does not feel good Feels good about self Feels good about self at
about self the expense of another
Shy Expresses feelings May express feelings
Does not achieve May achieve desired May achieve goal(s)
desired goal(s) goals(s) but hurt/anger others
Allows others to Chooses for self Chooses for others
choose for self
Hurt, anxious Feels satisfied May feel anger
OTHER PERSON OTHER PERSON OTHER PERSON
Feels guilty Feels good Does not feel good
Dislikes person Appreciates person Feels hurt, defensive
Achieves goals at May achieve desired Does not achieve
person’s expense goals desired goal
SUMMARY: ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR
1. Assertion does NOT involve the intent to hurt the other person whereas aggression does.
2. Assertive behaviour aims at making the power between two people equal.
3. Assertive behaviour involves expressing your legitimate rights.
4. Remember: Other individuals have a right to respond to your assertiveness.
5. An assertive encounter with another individual may involve coming to and agreeable compromise
Or to a solution which is different than either of you had imagined in the first place.
6. By behaving assertively, you open the way for honest relationships with others
7. Assertive behaviour is not only concerned with WHAT you say, but HOW you say it.
8. Assertive behaviour is a skill that can be learned by frequent practise.
9. Assertiveness is a choice. It may not always be the best one for you at any one time.
COMPONENTS OF THE
ASSERTIVE STYLE
The assertive style includes four components;
VERBAL The words you use
COGNITIVE The mental processes you go through (self-thoughts
Internally talks to one’s self)
EMOTIONAL The level of feelings, vocal tone and volume
NONVERBAL Body language, facial expressions and eye
contact (relate on different levels)